Loyal (like a duracell bunny)May 02, 2021
This is my body. Showing unwavering support - still- no matter how many years I harshly judged, and wanting it to be different in size or shape.
Battling it down and commenting on every possible flaw, did not make me a happier person in the end. Neither did I change my body dramatically for good.
Relationships with our bodies can be difficult. It is a big issue for women to feel comfortable, adorable and safe in our skin. I am sure we all have the best intentions when we start blaming ourselves to achieve more. Striving toward a healthy apperance and our own well-being is just human. it is the tone and intention that will make a difference. Many of our self-critic talk could rival the god old "the devil wears prada" script.
I feel that women connect over their body insecurities. This is a common "threat" many, many of us fight against. While we share the challenges we all have unique wishes or goals. ("my feelings, when I suffer from body shame are the same feelings when you suffer from body shame")
For me the past two decades looked like; loosing some pounds, wishing parts of my body to be different, wishing for smaller feeds to wear awesome high-heels more often and being more "lady-like" (not too sure what I was actually looking for myself)
The need to evaluate my body was ubiquitous. Everyday. My efforts in moving towards my goals we're mainly fueled by self-critic. Constantly ruminating what to eat, what to workout, what to change. Pressure on! The sad truth was either I resisted al my longings for sweets & fat stuff, or I would over-indulge in chocolate until feeling sick and so guilty. Not being able to enjoy any of the food I consumed. The binge or forbid mentality seemed to work quite a while. I lost weight. I gained weight. I lost weight . . . - But was I happy? Hell NO! I was disconnected and lonely in all the attempts to be just right.
Fast forward to today. A little older and thank god, a little wiser :) I found my key. Self-acceptance. Self-compassion. Self-love. Body-Kindness & Motivation.
No matter how it's called. Being kind to myself worked more than anything else and has helped me to be with my body. Hand in hand. We are both, loyal like a duracell.